Men: I have a message for you. No matter if you’re married, single, young or old.
YOUR HEART IS PRICELESS.
Your heart is worth so much more than the porn you consume. Infinitely more. I want you to imagine with me for a moment all of the things which we value in life. All of the things that we treasure: Our homes, our investments, and our cars. The list could go on and on. What is something in your life that you would consider priceless? It may even be a person for you. But I would like to suggest that the most valuable thing that we carry is the heart that God has given you and I.
I love what Proverbs 4:23-27 AMP has to say regarding the heart:
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful (lying, misleading) mouth, And put devious lips far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead [toward the path of moral courage] And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you [toward the path of integrity]. Consider well and watch carefully the path of your feet, And all your ways will be steadfast and sure. Do not turn away to the right nor to the left [where evil may lurk]; Turn your foot from [the path of] evil.”
Simply put: When our heart is given the attention it deserves, all of the other areas of our lives will reflect health. Notice the other parts of body that are affected either positively or negatively because of the state of the heart:
- The mouth (our words & how we speak)
- The lips (again, our words or language)
- The eyes (what we look at and consume both visually and spiritually)
- The feet (the steps we take either towards compromise or character)
Do you see here how the heart is considered the ultimate indicator of our health?
For 13 years, I was blinded to this reality because pornography had literally moved into my heart and set up shop. At the age of 13, I invited it to come in like a flood and couldn’t get enough of what I was watching. I didn’t understand it, but that didn’t matter because it was touching something deep inside of me that was broken. I “thought” it was meeting needs inside of me. When in reality, it was distorting my view and value of the opposite sex. It was re-wiring my thinking and deadening emotions inside of me. It was making me a very small and diminished man.
All because of an innocent discovery of something I didn’t understand. It’s almost as if I was ambushed by something that would affect my life for years. And while I was only 13 when I discovered what I did, my addiction lasted to the age of 26. There came a certain point in time where I knew that what I was doing was unhealthy and I needed help. And yet the cycle of addiction continued.
At a certain point in life I forgot that my heart was priceless.
It wasn’t until I realized the depth of my sin and the depravity of my heart when it began to negatively affect my wife, who was then my fiancé. It was then that my eyes were finally opened and I began a journey of recovery. The recovery of my heart. I was blessed to have been given many wonderful opportunities for healing over the years. And I’m thankful to say that over the last 14 years I’ve experienced so much freedom and healing!
I’m convinced that in order to walk in that same kind of freedom, you MUST learn to treasure your heart as well. Remembering that your heart is your greatest possession is the first step to long lasting success in recovery from addiction.
After you’ve put a stake in the ground and committed your heart to the process of recovery, you have to make the decision to come out of the shadows. You can’t become a person of integrity by yourself. This is often a really hard step for many men to take. They might realize how valuable their heart is, but they can’t fathom bearing their secrets to another person.
Small Groups Online provides you with an incredible opportunity to share your life with others who are also desiring freedom. Others who have dealt with addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. SGO offers you community through becoming apart of a weekly support group via Zoom meetings. You’ll receive encouragement and a structure for what healthy recovery looks like.
Never forget that the greatest treasure is the one that lies inside of you. Your heart is priceless!!!
Frank is passionate about helping individuals live with sexual integrity. He also works alongside his wife Tracey in helping spouses who have been devastated by their partner’s addiction. Frank & Tracey live in beautiful southern Delaware with their two children: Nathan and Addison.